The Big Yellow Man

Honestly this has gone on for too long. There is one yellow stupid network in Uganda, and by yellow I do not mean the colour of the ruling government here in Uganda, at least they are not stupid. I am talking about MTN…the assholes who think they own Uganda. I have noticed that over the past two months, there never goes a week where they are not having some shit problem. This network in my opinion has become too big for its own good here in Uganda.

Network failure after network failure. I live in Entebbe at the moment, but really, what the fucking hell. Entebbe is just a stone’s throw away from Kampala, so the network should be clear. The words “Out of Service Area” should not exist. But they do. With MTN, every single bad thing exists. Trust me if I had a chance, I would give them back their taxes and throw them out of Uganda for good, the bloody idiots.

First off let me relate them to that once attractive young man that is now a balding, fat bellied man closing in on his fifties. I mean any one here in Uganda, and Africa to be exact (well let me not say Africa, it could just be Uganda) knows that MTN is more interested in the money now than actually caring for its customers.

Where does the comparison come in?

Well the fat old man was once attractive; tall, lean and always smiling. He was eager to please his partner. He was always looking for a way to ensure that she was happy. He bought her flowers. He took her to simple nice dates. He spent all he could, interested only in giving her heaven on earth. As he stayed with her and got a better job and was able to give her the finer things in life, he let himself go. He became arrogant, full of money and unfit. He for lack of a better word becomes a certified grade A asshole.

For so many times his partner is interested in throwing in the towel, but the memories and those few good things that actually come from Mr. Asshole. But at the back of her mind, she knows that all it will take is one final straw, and when it comes, the partner is never happier than before. She takes it and runs leaving the fool to enjoy his money while losing a lot of other things.

That is MTN Uganda today. They might say I am defaming them. But I can tell you that everyone and I mean every single one of their users has the damn line for mobile money. But I know more than ten people whose phones either got stolen or spoilt that gladly went to other networks such as Airtel, Vodafone, UTL and even the much maligned Africell.

Why?

These networks unlike the big yellow machine, are happy to please the customer who in this case is the wife or partner. What MTN does not realise by becoming the worst network in Uganda is that it gives more people reason to throw away their numbers. I mean it is so easy for me to throw away my MTN line and get another line. After all, the numbers are saved on my phone and people will get used to the new numbers.

They better style up and I hope they read this, the fucking leeches, good for nothing scam.

Until next time, I remain the dream chasing nerd who hates MTN with a white hot passion.

PS: I have nothing against the people who work for them.