It has been ages since I pestered you with my rumblings. There is no excuse for leaving you to fester and even possibly forget about me. But in three simple words...I AM SORRY. But nonetheless thank you for daring to look into the mind that is fragile and wondering.
Life. It is something that we all take for granted. It is something that we all seem to not care about. Every morning you see people drag themselves from their beds out into the world to do whatever it is that they do. You see them trying to mask their anger at life with simple smiles and phrases. (Keep in mind what the late robin Williams said about a smile being a mask)
Anyway, just this ugly Wednesday morning I found myself on the highway, driving to work. It was still dark and the sun was yet to come out, but I can tell you it felt like all of us were in a Need for Speed game. So while overtaking a line of five cars, I saw a puppy up ahead. And yes I tried to slow down to avoid it, but it was just my luck. I could not dodge the little innocent creature.
The moment my car went bump and I realised what I had just done, my heart clenched and a feeling of dread and sorrow washed over me. I can tell you for a fact that I actually slowed down as I felt angry with myself. I felt like a worthless person. I wished I could change time. I wished I could have waited to overtake the other cars, but alas! I could not. Even up to now, I am feeling remorseful.
You might be thinking it is only a puppy. But yes a puppy is a creature whose life is barely beginning. It is a little creature whose worth was yet to be defined, but its worth was clearly defined to me. By the time I feel so down on myself, just know that the creature is worth more than even gold.
So that brings up the point of soldiers and killers. How the hell do they do it? How in the world do they just aim shoot and kill without batting an eyelid. Is that even possible? Maybe, I am just a simple civilian but I want to know. Do they suffer with the dread and remorse that I am suffering from? Do they even wish they could go back and change it? How the hell do they handle the anguish of taking life away?
So this is my eulogy to that puppy. This is my plea; my apology to its soul up there in the heavens. This is me wishing that I had not taken its life because every life is valuable. Every single life on this earth is valuable until it proves not to be.
And to you people that think otherwise, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Until I see you next time, I remain the dream chaser.