The Gift

Can I boldly say that I am livid?

First off, why in God’s name, ah ah…let me change that to why the fuck are you letting other people cloud your own judgment? I mean, the fuck is wrong with people? I know that it is human nature to listen to others and sometimes let them influence what you think about something. But really…when it comes to gifts, what is wrong with people? Fine, compare and contrast, but I believe that the bigger picture is the damn thought that counts.

You must be able to see past what all the other people see on the surface. Most people see a bad thing or a good thing, depending on their own values. To me, yes to me, I prefer the thought. If you give me a pen from the bottom of your heart and someone else gives me a mansion, without true meaning, of course I will take both and be bloody grateful, but if I am honest, I know who I would rather give a gift, the person of the pen.

That is why, I am livid today.

This message is directed to some people built in a specific cantankerous mould as I would like to put it. So recently, I have a friend, who gifted someone a book on a special day. Books are very sentimental in my opinion. This friend had actually put it in his head that the specific book(I will tell you the title a few sentences away) would make an interesting read for someone who has an open mind.

Anyway, the gift was Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James. Yes, I know what you might be thinking…B, D, fucking S, M. Well let me be honest. I have read the books, watched this year’s Valentine’s Day blockbuster, and my assessment remains the same. Fifty Shades of Grey has no major bad points aside from what the feminists and ultra conservative think.

Yes, pornography. But the porn pages are actually fewer than some of the candid and obvious porn in the Mills and Boons that my sister and mother used to read with so much attention in the earlier years. Misogyny, porno shit and all the likes are the bad things about this book, but if I am honest, that is where I stop with the bad things. E. L. James is actually a god writer and she did have plot in her Fifty Shades.

Mind you, I am not defending all the negative shit about this book. I am just being honest; movingly honest. If you read books, not basing on what others say, just basing on your own curiosity and love of books, then you can agree with me that Fifty Shades is not a bad book; definitely, not a book for a literature class, but who knows, we did the Song of Lawino in my S.2 (Ugandans you know what I am talking about)

So when my friend told me about the reaction of the person who received his book as a loving gift, I was shocked. Might I add that this resentment towards his gift came a full two weeks after receipt of the book and the person being more than halfway into the bloody book. That got me thinking, what the hell? What is wrong with people?

Why the fuck would you read the book all that way then turn round against it? Come on, just let it go as soon as you receive it. This person waited for others to call it porn, even after they had read the damn book, before they called out the young man who gave them the gift.

So, I will tell you what I told him. Fuck gifting people who will never appreciate it. Give the gifts to people who will value the thought more than the item.

Until next time,

I remain your dream chasing nerd…

Tastes and Preferences

I am pretty sure that someone has at least thrown a comment at you regarding how disinterested you are in a particular subject. Sure of course, we are all allowed our own tastes and preferences. If you studied economics it is one of the main if not commonest points in every single thing…demand, supply and blah, blah, blah…

Anyway, hello world, forgive my poor manners.

So this time round my rant if not thought goes to the people who believe that we are meant love the things that they love. Come on, people! I am not you. I am me. That means that even you who is reading this is the only version of yourself out there. You can look over the six billion people out there in the world and still find only one you. In short, what you hate, what you like and what you tolerate is unique to you.

And yes, kind sirs and madams, there might be someone who has similar tastes and preferences, but the similarity is actually a difference. Personally, I love Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones and the likes. Why? Because I love swords, knights, armour and stuff to do with the Middle Ages. I am what you’d call a geek…seeing as I have read the books too.

Anyhow, some other person out there might also like these mentioned movies and series, but their reasons could have more to do with plot, relationships etc. To me those things are secondary and to them they are primary. That is just how it is. So you see…similar but different. We might all be from a singular tree, but every branch is bloody different people.

This brings me to the bigger point. Our dear parents and relatives. “Abana ba naku zi’no…tebafayo” Forgive my Luganda (my native language…kindly look it up) This statement translates into ‘kids of these days, don’t give a damn.’

If I am to be honest, why should I care for things that I have no interest in. It is not my place to do so. I mean, you cultivated your tastes long before you thought of me. And now that I am cultivating my own, you have a problem with it. If you wanted me to have some sort of interest in your shit and all, kindly you should have introduced me to it long before it would not really matter to me.

Besides, it is not that we do not care about the things dear to your hearts. Honestly we do, but not as much as we care for the things closest to our hearts. You're our family and we will always care for what is important to you, but never to the extent that what is important to us(me) becomes secondary in our lives.

So kindly do not blame me for being me with my own tastes and preferences. If you want me to love your things more than I do, you missed the boat.

PS: If you are reading this and your kid or whoever you want to care is not yet beyond the tender age of ten, you still have a chance. Run...run...and do the right thing yoooohhhhhh

Until then, I remain…the dream chasing nerd…  

Old Wishes

Hello world,

Has any of you ever wondered what it was like in the 60's, 70's and early 80's? I mean that as a question to yougsters like myself who like to call ourselves the 90's kids. I mean there is a lot of different shit that has gone on since the turn of the century, but I think my rant goes back all the way to weddings.
And by weddings I do not mean all world weddings. I mean weddings from Africa, Uganda to be exact, my friends.
I recently scrolled through my parents wedding albums, and I do not mean those fancy ten year or twenty year anniversary ceremonies. I mean that first step of the marriage cycle. I am talking about that time when they were as young as I am right now and not having work stress, or pains of the world on their shoulders. My God those pictures made for an interesting view.
My now bald father had an afro, and my mum who prefers braids had really long hair. They looked happy and simple in the coolest way. Old man wore a nice three piece, mum a simple knee length white dress with a few daisies in her hand. And the biggest thing that comes to mind is the fact that they were so content. Content, because they had a few close friends around them, my uncles, two of them, were chief on my old man's side and the ladies are old and grey with grandkids now...(waiting for my own kids in a few years to call them jaja)
This got me thinking. If I was to grade my old people's wedding in terms of finances, their wedding could be little over 500 USD right now. That translates into 1.5 Million shillings. Mind you that is me being extravagant because they are my parents.
Their wedding is a clear and marked distinction from the wedding my elder brother had recently. I am taking nothing away from my brother, because I do love him, but my God. We wore designer suits, paid a fancy hotel, rode in Range Rovers and even more interestingly, we had a blast listening to a band. All this was after some interesting priest put his seal of approval on my brother and sister in law.
Personally, I do not want a big lavish wedding. I mean why would I? The parents have had my brother to experiment on, thank God. But this is Africa and the wedding these days has never been about the wedded couple. It is about the parents of the couple.
At some point one wonders why pernts force their kids to get married with pomp and grandeur instead of allowing them to do what they did in their hey day? I mean is it so hard to get your son and his bride or your daughter and her groom to enjoy a simple wedding with the intention of a lavish ten year ceremony. In fact, I think this is one of the main reasons that divorce is slowly creeping back up in many nations.
Before, the wedding was small. The couple was a team with a direction. You would respect one another because you are there for one another in the lowest moments of life. Couples believed in one another and married for love, friendship and companionship. That is reason why many of the 80's, 70's and 60's couples are somehow still together. But if you look at the recent couples who have allowed the forces other than themselves to get married, you will see a difference.
People marriage is not about how expensive the tux was. It is not about the designer wedding gown. And it is not about having 1000 guests at your celebration. It is a ceremony where a man picks one gem from a cave full gems to be his one and only gem. From there, he can work at making life wonderful for the gem and vice versa.
So our parents and your old wishes remember how you got married and do not shove your dream wedding down our throats.
But if you want a big wedding, please go ahead as long as it is not mum or dad who wants it.

Until next time, I remain the dream chasing...that one...dream chasing...

The Sins of your Fear

Hello world,

Thank you for spending some time with me. Thank you for looking into my mind as I rumble on like a fool. In other news, someone got me thinking about the past and what it brings out in people. For one, it makes me very angry at times. It makes me sad, It makes me feel useless and small. But it also makes me feel like I am slowly evolving because I no longer go into depression mode.

One of the hardest things to do in this world is to recover from the unexpected things that life does to you. It is very hard to let go of the past. It is even harder to avoid looking at it in some way or another. As one of those people who tend to have long tempers and can hold out for too long, I know just how it feels for things not to make sense at a particular time. I know how it feels to fill your head and thoughts with all the wrongs you have allowed to be done to you.

But I am a firm believer that the past is not such a bad thing. Actually, the past and all crimes of this world that are done to you are part of life. They should be lessons, yes, but not bloody prisons. They should not hold you back as if you are some sort of criminal in the thralls of the justice system. The truth of the matter is that you have control over the things that happen to you and are committed to memory.

It takes time to learn the bloody lessons. It takes time to understand that maybe, you did not deserve all that was done to you, but you needed for it to be done to you, to become a stronger and better person. This assuming that there are no bots busy scrolling through my little blog.

Anyway, life always throws us lemons. It will throw you the failed interview, the F9 in some damn paper, the cheating girl or boy, the hovering sucker who wants in on your girl or boy, death, sickness, poverty and in some cases betrayal. But as life throws you all these things it gives you a chance to learn.

Take the failed interview…you’ll probably learn what kind of works and what does not as you do loads of interviews. I know I have, and in the end you become better at presenting yourself to that bloody panel. The F9 will probably haunt you as you read. But it will make you read harder and at some point you will pass the damn papers. You see F9s have a funny way of making you feel stupid and damn, when in actual sense you are wise and amazing. Truth is that no one is stupid we just have different academic talents.

I could go on and on about the endings of beauty and brilliance that we can pick out of everything, but that is not my place. It is your place as a human being to see that your past, good, bad, sins, miracles and blessings are things that teach ‘the you’ of today that you’re better than anything.

I am speaking from experience mind you. I am slowly becoming better at it. I have taken every lesson, well not every lesson, but what I can and become a lot better at being me.

Until the next time we meet, my friends, I remain the dream chaser.