Je suis

Hello world.

What kind of world are we living in? I mean I have talked about it before, the whole racism issue, but it seems I have to once again address it. Why? You might think retreating back to an old subject is more or less dull and boring, but infringing on the rights of others due to their skin colour is not as boring as it may at first appear.  And just so you know, I am not actually taking one side or the next in the name of this racism row. It has nothing to do with the white man on black man or vice versa usual nonsense, mine is going up against my brother in Southern Africa, the “Rainbow” nation as they often like to call themselves

Before I get into them, let me start off by putting my hat off to Charlie Hebdo. Well done my friends of French satire. Death is an intriguing subject. But even family reunions of Africans under the sea as they try to find a better life is more fun to see. I mean maybe, I should get someone to do an Al Pacino caricature of your offices. Let us not forget that you were the victims of a hate attack and there you were on your high horses believing you are heads and shoulders above the rest.

Je suis Charlie…forgive my French your arrogant prissy mad men that make fun of death and the fact that African perished in the seas as they tried to come and enjoy the things you ever so gladly flaunt in our faces as awesome beyond awesome.

Away from that…my brothers in South Africa, brothers and sisters, who knows, I mean really. What are you thinking? Just because some man says all these people must go does not mean that you pick up cardboards and clubs to force him out. That is mistaking some important person’s statements to fuel your own personal drive and anger. What cause do you have to beat up fellow Africans? What right do you have to force us out of your country?

None…I tell you none.

It is your home. They are your jobs and best case scenario you must fill those vacancies. But let us be honest. Your youth sit on their arses many a day waiting for the next lucky break instead of working towards it (and honestly that is a problem on the entire continent); you’re more interested in placing the “bazungu” at another level. I thought they too were foreigners, but we did not see any of them getting caned or kicked on the head.

Then again, you are the most forgetful nation in this world. When the yoke of apartheid filled your nation, who cried with you? When the white men you still pay too much respect if you ask me, beat the shit out of you, who took you in and cleaned your wounds? It was Africa. It was all of us that you want out of your country.

Xenophobia looks good for you now that you think we want your nation. No. We have our own motherlands. We just want to explore and since South Africa is part of this continent why not start from there? Why go to places like Europe where we shall be Charlie Hebdo’d for trying to explore, albeit illegally…but oh well, what can I say but job well done. You have made many fellow Africans weary of your hospitality.

By the time comments like, “we should kill those sobs too,” came out…you know what I mean.

But unlike you South Africa we shall kill others because of race. We are one world, with one love and so many colours; even the South African colour of violence and hatred.

Until next time, Je suis Charlie and South Africa,

I remain your dream chasing nerd…

The Big Yellow Man

Honestly this has gone on for too long. There is one yellow stupid network in Uganda, and by yellow I do not mean the colour of the ruling government here in Uganda, at least they are not stupid. I am talking about MTN…the assholes who think they own Uganda. I have noticed that over the past two months, there never goes a week where they are not having some shit problem. This network in my opinion has become too big for its own good here in Uganda.

Network failure after network failure. I live in Entebbe at the moment, but really, what the fucking hell. Entebbe is just a stone’s throw away from Kampala, so the network should be clear. The words “Out of Service Area” should not exist. But they do. With MTN, every single bad thing exists. Trust me if I had a chance, I would give them back their taxes and throw them out of Uganda for good, the bloody idiots.

First off let me relate them to that once attractive young man that is now a balding, fat bellied man closing in on his fifties. I mean any one here in Uganda, and Africa to be exact (well let me not say Africa, it could just be Uganda) knows that MTN is more interested in the money now than actually caring for its customers.

Where does the comparison come in?

Well the fat old man was once attractive; tall, lean and always smiling. He was eager to please his partner. He was always looking for a way to ensure that she was happy. He bought her flowers. He took her to simple nice dates. He spent all he could, interested only in giving her heaven on earth. As he stayed with her and got a better job and was able to give her the finer things in life, he let himself go. He became arrogant, full of money and unfit. He for lack of a better word becomes a certified grade A asshole.

For so many times his partner is interested in throwing in the towel, but the memories and those few good things that actually come from Mr. Asshole. But at the back of her mind, she knows that all it will take is one final straw, and when it comes, the partner is never happier than before. She takes it and runs leaving the fool to enjoy his money while losing a lot of other things.

That is MTN Uganda today. They might say I am defaming them. But I can tell you that everyone and I mean every single one of their users has the damn line for mobile money. But I know more than ten people whose phones either got stolen or spoilt that gladly went to other networks such as Airtel, Vodafone, UTL and even the much maligned Africell.

Why?

These networks unlike the big yellow machine, are happy to please the customer who in this case is the wife or partner. What MTN does not realise by becoming the worst network in Uganda is that it gives more people reason to throw away their numbers. I mean it is so easy for me to throw away my MTN line and get another line. After all, the numbers are saved on my phone and people will get used to the new numbers.

They better style up and I hope they read this, the fucking leeches, good for nothing scam.

Until next time, I remain the dream chasing nerd who hates MTN with a white hot passion.

PS: I have nothing against the people who work for them.

The Meaning of Love

Long live the heart, long live the soul that knows what it wants. That piece you can't find, that part is a whole and it never lets go. Those lyrics are from Needtobreaths's awesome song The Heart. I might be a little late on this boat, but the song is damn amazing. This song has awesome meaning to it. And if you are soe one who has the creeping fear of being stabbed and abused by numerous people out there, it helps build your fortitude. 

At some point in life you realise that you have to let it all out though. Personal experience has taught me that the one thing that will happen to you in this world is to be stabbed in the back. being abandoned by people is part of life. Afterall, we enter this world alone and we leave it alone. But there is ajourney and we all need help when it comes to this journey called life. That is why we tend to open ourselves up to others.

When you give your heart out to people, you often give a piece of yourself to them. Be it a lover, friend, ally, acquintance, brother or sister, there is is a piece of you you're giving away. When people turn round and stab you in the back, it is easy to find yurself feeling a longing ache deep down. Some of us recover, but in the recovery, you come back more as a dead person. You see for every hurt, you become stronger, but you also die a little more.

People do not see it. Most times, even you do not see it. You feel it in the pit of your chest and just think, it is the bloody pain of that moment. You tend to go into the 'Fuck It' phase of life. But when you come out of it, you are different. Most people do not realise that you are different. You see things in different lights. Your smile does not touch your eyes as much as it used to. Worst of all, some walls start to hold you back even when you want to go out.

This is all mindless chatter if you're readng, but anyway, what is love, if it leads us down this particular road? What is the true meaning of love, if the whole journey is wrought with pain and longing?

What is love?

I cannot answer that question for you. The shrink is the last person to also answer that question for you. In truth no one can answer that question because love is everywhere. Everyone is capable of love. Even your worst enemy is capable of love. Love is not easy. Love is fights, love is tears, love is smiles, love is frowns, love above everything else, love is hope.

It is hope that you will find someone out there who will accept your soul as it is. You will find that love is something that gets you to think of more than just yourself. It will eat away the selfishness. Your sadness will matter little. Your happiness will no longer come from just you. Your tears will be shed over something out of your control. Love is what makes you see beyond the walls you find yourself caged in. That is what I have learnt.

Even when you are hurting because of love, it will still hold you close. When you find that the through your tears, the love still burns, then you have your answer. You will have your winter in the scorching deserts, your spring of life when everything else is gone. 

And to people that say that love has no jealousy...really, if you have love and never get jealous, you're in for trouble because that means you have yet to find it. 

Until the next time, your dream chasing young man awaits your eyes.