Long live the heart, long live the soul that knows what it wants. That piece you can't find, that part is a whole and it never lets go. Those lyrics are from Needtobreaths's awesome song The Heart. I might be a little late on this boat, but the song is damn amazing. This song has awesome meaning to it. And if you are soe one who has the creeping fear of being stabbed and abused by numerous people out there, it helps build your fortitude.
At some point in life you realise that you have to let it all out though. Personal experience has taught me that the one thing that will happen to you in this world is to be stabbed in the back. being abandoned by people is part of life. Afterall, we enter this world alone and we leave it alone. But there is ajourney and we all need help when it comes to this journey called life. That is why we tend to open ourselves up to others.
When you give your heart out to people, you often give a piece of yourself to them. Be it a lover, friend, ally, acquintance, brother or sister, there is is a piece of you you're giving away. When people turn round and stab you in the back, it is easy to find yurself feeling a longing ache deep down. Some of us recover, but in the recovery, you come back more as a dead person. You see for every hurt, you become stronger, but you also die a little more.
People do not see it. Most times, even you do not see it. You feel it in the pit of your chest and just think, it is the bloody pain of that moment. You tend to go into the 'Fuck It' phase of life. But when you come out of it, you are different. Most people do not realise that you are different. You see things in different lights. Your smile does not touch your eyes as much as it used to. Worst of all, some walls start to hold you back even when you want to go out.
This is all mindless chatter if you're readng, but anyway, what is love, if it leads us down this particular road? What is the true meaning of love, if the whole journey is wrought with pain and longing?
What is love?
I cannot answer that question for you. The shrink is the last person to also answer that question for you. In truth no one can answer that question because love is everywhere. Everyone is capable of love. Even your worst enemy is capable of love. Love is not easy. Love is fights, love is tears, love is smiles, love is frowns, love above everything else, love is hope.
It is hope that you will find someone out there who will accept your soul as it is. You will find that love is something that gets you to think of more than just yourself. It will eat away the selfishness. Your sadness will matter little. Your happiness will no longer come from just you. Your tears will be shed over something out of your control. Love is what makes you see beyond the walls you find yourself caged in. That is what I have learnt.
Even when you are hurting because of love, it will still hold you close. When you find that the through your tears, the love still burns, then you have your answer. You will have your winter in the scorching deserts, your spring of life when everything else is gone.
And to people that say that love has no jealousy...really, if you have love and never get jealous, you're in for trouble because that means you have yet to find it.
Until the next time, your dream chasing young man awaits your eyes.