The African Man

Dear reader,

Thank you for sparing the time to look at this particular blog. I appreciate the time and effort that you take off to read my blog, although I am not the most reliable person in releasing these blogs. Nevertheless, thank you. I will not make a promise that I will be better and more consistent with my posts, but I can promise to try;

Now off to my usual rant and rumbling. Today for a change I am going to start off with a poem, which will make sense at the end of the post;

The African Man,

Seen as powerful, calm and unrelenting.

The African Man,

Unwilling to change, devoted to his ways and honest.

The African Man,

Who is he?

Why do you stereotype him?

What reason do you have to make him out to be what he is not?

I tell you, I tell you,

The African Man,

He is good, he is kind, and he is not quick to rubbish change.

The African Man,

He hates being called what he is not…

What does this poem mean?

For one, I have been in numerous conversations with various African women (friends and colleagues). Do you know what they all have in common? Sadly, it is the deluded conclusion that ‘all men are cheats. It is in their blood and DNA.’ That is what they say. Most times they have reserved and sad expressions when they are telling me this hogwash. Yes, ladies, I called this belief of yours hogwash. In fact, it is bull shit.

Yes, I accept that you have classic examples of men with numerous wives. It is easy for you to pick out your friend’s friend’s man who was caught with two other girls. It is even easier to point to the numerous posh cars of well off, married or seriously committed men that line up outside universities, picking up young and naïve girls for some fun. All this is basing on my little old dusty country where I too have witnessed men at their worst. In Uganda, it is not hard to find a man with more than one woman, all of them bearing his seed. You just have to attend his funeral to find out how many children he really has.

To make matters worse, this African society has since time in memorial engrained it on the minds of its male population that the more women and children you have, the more manly that you are. True that held water in the days past. True in some instances, more common than rare, it holds more water for young men who are making it in this world.

But despite all of this, let me tell you. It is not all lost. Why should you ladies assume that all men are this way? Where you have examples of cheating lowlifes, I too have examples of men who would willingly accept to love the one woman that they are with. I have seen it done. Not to brag or anything, I am doing.

Ladies, there are some men out there who do not take you for granted. Yes, you might be more than us, but these men will accept to stay with you because they, simply put, love you. I am tired of this whole notion that men are cheats and are meant to cheat. In the first place that might be why you will drive your man to cheat ladies. As men, we do not get into a relationship where we are serious to cheat on you.

Cheating is a choice. It has always been. In Africa it was never looked at in that way, but that was then. Right now. Today. In this world that is full of mistrust and uncertainty, no wise man would willingly play with what he does not need when he has the best thing already at home.

This is my humble appeal to women. Yes you say men are made to cheat. Yes the world has fashioned it that way. Yes you have your bloody examples. But…and this is a very BIG BUT, not all men are like all men. There is that handful of men that would rather die than cheat on you, if you are their lady or who knows, they might be more than a handful. There are men who would willingly love you and only you without sharing themselves with others.

So stop saying ‘all men are cheats and it is in their DNA.’

We are not.

Until the next time, thank you,

I remain your dream chasing geek.

Jealousy

Hello world, some might say that I have taken the longest time possible to come and share my thoughts about the world with you, and for that, I do apologise with the sincerest heart that I can muster.

Anyway, I have put a lot of thought into this one…today I am talking about jealousy…and not jealousy in the one form everyone associates to it. I am talking about the broad picture that is jealousy. The one that makes you hate someone without knowing it, or even detest someone for the sole reason of his or her existence.

What is jealousy?

Should I use the dictionary…I don’t know. However, according to the dictionary, jealousy is a word that typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, anxiety over an anticipated loss or status of something of great personal value. In short jealousy is that feeling you get when you do not want to lose something or in ‘most cases’ someone.

Anyhow, I was in a conversation with someone about this particular feeling, and believe me, we somehow do not agree on the whole principle of jealousy. Yes, cast your stones and get out your pitchforks, but after you reach the end of this particular post. This person strongly believes that whereas jealousy is good, it does more harm than good (writing this statement reminds me of my literature examination papers in high school)

Back to the topic at hand. Yes, jealousy is bad. I mean any human being out there has experienced it. You are not a bloody robot so there is no way that you who is reading this has not experienced it. Jealousy makes you a mean person. It makes you over protective and we all know what happens to things that are over protected…in most cases they are the biggest disappointments any man, woman or child will ever see.

On a whole, I think jealousy is good. In all its dark and furious glory, jealousy helps to build that which you hold close. Let me look at it from the most obvious angle…relationships (left, right and centre), both emotional and intimate, as well as platonic ones. Think about it. You would not cultivate what you have in any form. I mean as a woman or man, you would not treat your partner as special if you did not get jealous. You would not make your friend feel like you’re the only real friend in the world if you were not jealous.

And…

The biggest thing that I can say is that it would not really lead you to greater heights if you did not get jealous. Some people make it in this world because they are jealous of some Mary, Jane, Alice, Tom, Dick or Harry. Look at Cristiano Ronaldo the world soccer star, although he will deny it. He is jealous of Messi and to be frank the reverse is true. The result of their jealousy, is some out of this world consistency from both men in the world of soccer.

Look at Apple and Samsung.

Look at Russia and USA

Look at Play Station and X Box

Look at your relationship (if you are in a committed and happy one)

Look at religions (this might get me in trouble but think about it)

All of them in some form or another are cultivated by jealousy. Jealousy is a bad thing, but if you are reading this, trust me, jealousy is one of the necessary evils of this world. Whatever you want to believe, if you are a human being, there is no denying that you have felt that pang in your soul. Whether it is towards a loved one, business partner or even just the stranger on the road, you have felt it.

So, think about it my friends, Think about being jealous and do not be discouraged by its fear. Use its fear to fire you because jealousy leads to anger and anger is one of the things I know that burns the brightest when making a man or woman achieve greatness. But my anger rant will be for another day.

Until the next time, my friends, I will always remain the dream chasing nerd…

PS:

Most people see me as evil,

Others think I am the worst,

But few understand,

I mean no harm,

I mean no trouble,

In my own way, I am here to help,

Not to make you weak,

But to make you fight for what you hold dear…

Do not look at me as bad if you want to remain sane,

Because many have turned to darkness, just by being in my presence,

For I am what we all are and what we all do not want to be…

The Gift

Can I boldly say that I am livid?

First off, why in God’s name, ah ah…let me change that to why the fuck are you letting other people cloud your own judgment? I mean, the fuck is wrong with people? I know that it is human nature to listen to others and sometimes let them influence what you think about something. But really…when it comes to gifts, what is wrong with people? Fine, compare and contrast, but I believe that the bigger picture is the damn thought that counts.

You must be able to see past what all the other people see on the surface. Most people see a bad thing or a good thing, depending on their own values. To me, yes to me, I prefer the thought. If you give me a pen from the bottom of your heart and someone else gives me a mansion, without true meaning, of course I will take both and be bloody grateful, but if I am honest, I know who I would rather give a gift, the person of the pen.

That is why, I am livid today.

This message is directed to some people built in a specific cantankerous mould as I would like to put it. So recently, I have a friend, who gifted someone a book on a special day. Books are very sentimental in my opinion. This friend had actually put it in his head that the specific book(I will tell you the title a few sentences away) would make an interesting read for someone who has an open mind.

Anyway, the gift was Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James. Yes, I know what you might be thinking…B, D, fucking S, M. Well let me be honest. I have read the books, watched this year’s Valentine’s Day blockbuster, and my assessment remains the same. Fifty Shades of Grey has no major bad points aside from what the feminists and ultra conservative think.

Yes, pornography. But the porn pages are actually fewer than some of the candid and obvious porn in the Mills and Boons that my sister and mother used to read with so much attention in the earlier years. Misogyny, porno shit and all the likes are the bad things about this book, but if I am honest, that is where I stop with the bad things. E. L. James is actually a god writer and she did have plot in her Fifty Shades.

Mind you, I am not defending all the negative shit about this book. I am just being honest; movingly honest. If you read books, not basing on what others say, just basing on your own curiosity and love of books, then you can agree with me that Fifty Shades is not a bad book; definitely, not a book for a literature class, but who knows, we did the Song of Lawino in my S.2 (Ugandans you know what I am talking about)

So when my friend told me about the reaction of the person who received his book as a loving gift, I was shocked. Might I add that this resentment towards his gift came a full two weeks after receipt of the book and the person being more than halfway into the bloody book. That got me thinking, what the hell? What is wrong with people?

Why the fuck would you read the book all that way then turn round against it? Come on, just let it go as soon as you receive it. This person waited for others to call it porn, even after they had read the damn book, before they called out the young man who gave them the gift.

So, I will tell you what I told him. Fuck gifting people who will never appreciate it. Give the gifts to people who will value the thought more than the item.

Until next time,

I remain your dream chasing nerd…

Tastes and Preferences

I am pretty sure that someone has at least thrown a comment at you regarding how disinterested you are in a particular subject. Sure of course, we are all allowed our own tastes and preferences. If you studied economics it is one of the main if not commonest points in every single thing…demand, supply and blah, blah, blah…

Anyway, hello world, forgive my poor manners.

So this time round my rant if not thought goes to the people who believe that we are meant love the things that they love. Come on, people! I am not you. I am me. That means that even you who is reading this is the only version of yourself out there. You can look over the six billion people out there in the world and still find only one you. In short, what you hate, what you like and what you tolerate is unique to you.

And yes, kind sirs and madams, there might be someone who has similar tastes and preferences, but the similarity is actually a difference. Personally, I love Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones and the likes. Why? Because I love swords, knights, armour and stuff to do with the Middle Ages. I am what you’d call a geek…seeing as I have read the books too.

Anyhow, some other person out there might also like these mentioned movies and series, but their reasons could have more to do with plot, relationships etc. To me those things are secondary and to them they are primary. That is just how it is. So you see…similar but different. We might all be from a singular tree, but every branch is bloody different people.

This brings me to the bigger point. Our dear parents and relatives. “Abana ba naku zi’no…tebafayo” Forgive my Luganda (my native language…kindly look it up) This statement translates into ‘kids of these days, don’t give a damn.’

If I am to be honest, why should I care for things that I have no interest in. It is not my place to do so. I mean, you cultivated your tastes long before you thought of me. And now that I am cultivating my own, you have a problem with it. If you wanted me to have some sort of interest in your shit and all, kindly you should have introduced me to it long before it would not really matter to me.

Besides, it is not that we do not care about the things dear to your hearts. Honestly we do, but not as much as we care for the things closest to our hearts. You're our family and we will always care for what is important to you, but never to the extent that what is important to us(me) becomes secondary in our lives.

So kindly do not blame me for being me with my own tastes and preferences. If you want me to love your things more than I do, you missed the boat.

PS: If you are reading this and your kid or whoever you want to care is not yet beyond the tender age of ten, you still have a chance. Run...run...and do the right thing yoooohhhhhh

Until then, I remain…the dream chasing nerd…