Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Old Wishes

Hello world,

Has any of you ever wondered what it was like in the 60's, 70's and early 80's? I mean that as a question to yougsters like myself who like to call ourselves the 90's kids. I mean there is a lot of different shit that has gone on since the turn of the century, but I think my rant goes back all the way to weddings.
And by weddings I do not mean all world weddings. I mean weddings from Africa, Uganda to be exact, my friends.
I recently scrolled through my parents wedding albums, and I do not mean those fancy ten year or twenty year anniversary ceremonies. I mean that first step of the marriage cycle. I am talking about that time when they were as young as I am right now and not having work stress, or pains of the world on their shoulders. My God those pictures made for an interesting view.
My now bald father had an afro, and my mum who prefers braids had really long hair. They looked happy and simple in the coolest way. Old man wore a nice three piece, mum a simple knee length white dress with a few daisies in her hand. And the biggest thing that comes to mind is the fact that they were so content. Content, because they had a few close friends around them, my uncles, two of them, were chief on my old man's side and the ladies are old and grey with grandkids now...(waiting for my own kids in a few years to call them jaja)
This got me thinking. If I was to grade my old people's wedding in terms of finances, their wedding could be little over 500 USD right now. That translates into 1.5 Million shillings. Mind you that is me being extravagant because they are my parents.
Their wedding is a clear and marked distinction from the wedding my elder brother had recently. I am taking nothing away from my brother, because I do love him, but my God. We wore designer suits, paid a fancy hotel, rode in Range Rovers and even more interestingly, we had a blast listening to a band. All this was after some interesting priest put his seal of approval on my brother and sister in law.
Personally, I do not want a big lavish wedding. I mean why would I? The parents have had my brother to experiment on, thank God. But this is Africa and the wedding these days has never been about the wedded couple. It is about the parents of the couple.
At some point one wonders why pernts force their kids to get married with pomp and grandeur instead of allowing them to do what they did in their hey day? I mean is it so hard to get your son and his bride or your daughter and her groom to enjoy a simple wedding with the intention of a lavish ten year ceremony. In fact, I think this is one of the main reasons that divorce is slowly creeping back up in many nations.
Before, the wedding was small. The couple was a team with a direction. You would respect one another because you are there for one another in the lowest moments of life. Couples believed in one another and married for love, friendship and companionship. That is reason why many of the 80's, 70's and 60's couples are somehow still together. But if you look at the recent couples who have allowed the forces other than themselves to get married, you will see a difference.
People marriage is not about how expensive the tux was. It is not about the designer wedding gown. And it is not about having 1000 guests at your celebration. It is a ceremony where a man picks one gem from a cave full gems to be his one and only gem. From there, he can work at making life wonderful for the gem and vice versa.
So our parents and your old wishes remember how you got married and do not shove your dream wedding down our throats.
But if you want a big wedding, please go ahead as long as it is not mum or dad who wants it.

Until next time, I remain the dream chasing...that one...dream chasing...